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Ask Dog Lady

Thursday Nov 1, 2018

Advice on Pets, Life, Love

Dear Dog Lady,

My new dog Tye, a golden retriever, arrived from Michigan about a month ago. I found him on the Internet when I googled for a two-year-old dog. Tye had been used as a stud for a breeder. When he was retired after spawning litters of puppies, the breeder's family took him in as a pet for a few months before offering him for sale. He was shipped to me and I love having him. He is a wonderful dog, gentle, obedient, well-behaved. But he has one problem: Although the previous owners assured me Tye loves getting up and riding in the car, he will not jump into my car. I have to sit in the back seat and coax him before he finally leaps.

One guy at the dog park suggests Tye is a Michigan-bred dog, raised with big American vehicles; my little '15 Toyota Prius unnerves him. Could this possibly be?

Anne

Dear Anne,

Your dog park pal has a point, a very good one. If Tye was brought up riding around in ginormous Dodge Rams, Cadillac Escalades, Ford Expeditions or F-150 trucks, the confused dog must indeed be nervous confronting the miniscule back seat of a Prius. Dogs are such creatures of habit and what is imprinted on them as pups lasts a long time.

Be patient. Tempt Tye with high-test treats (such as dried liver chunks or pieces of boiled chicken) placed prominently on the back seat and always take him to a fun place. The dog park is a perfect destination. You can keep getting into the back seat and luring him thither but you don't know if this was the car behavior of his previous family, which is why it resonates with him. So stay out the back seat, try treats, your best coaxing voice and, please, don't expect instant miracles. You have a good dog. One day he will jump into your Prius and never look back.


Dear Dog Lady,

I am actually a cat person but I like all animals. I just want readers to know two things not to say to anyone who has just lost a beloved pet. Number One on the list of upsetting remarks? "So, are you going to get another one?" Every pet has its own personality and has worked its way into your heart. It can't be "replaced" like an I-Phone. The other offensive remark is, "How old was it?" Well, sure, your passed pet may have had a long life, but are they ever really "old enough" when you love them so much? Would people say that about an elderly parent? I realize people in general mean well, but please just say you're sorry. Thanks for letting me vent,

Diane

Dear Diane,

Dog Lady is glad a self-described "cat person" came to "Ask Dog Lady" to vent. And, really, why not? Dogs usually demand more attention but this column likes all companion animals.

You make good sense but, please, understand the best-intentioned people always fumble for the right words. Openly grieving pets is a new societal phenomenon. Many people are not so enlightened as to know what to say about a dearly departed cat, dog, turtle or whatever creature. Greeting card collections now include a selection of pet sympathy cards so you might peruse these for suggestions.

Please understand—anyone who offers compassion about a passed pet means very well. A sympathizer should not be judged for saying—or not saying—the "correct" thing.

Write askdoglady@gmail.com.