Dear Dog Lady,
I allow my nine-year-old female rat terrier mix to relieve herself inside on a pee pad in a designated area. But she often goes on the carpeting just a foot or two from the pee pad. She is in the general designated area but doesn't seem to understand that her deposits should be always on the pad (not just near it). She gets two or three walks outside per day but in between she uses the pad or close to it. How do I make her understand to use only the pad only and not the floor or carpet next to the pad?

—Patty
Dear Patty,
Dogs are smart but they don't know the difference between pee pads and carpet. They know "outdoors" and "indoors." Once you allow them to go indoors, they think any interior surface is fair game—pee pads, carpeting, linoleum, and wood. Actually, your rat terrier is rather remarkable because she, at least, goes near the pee pad.
Train her off the pad by bringing her outdoors more frequently for walks. When she goes, praise her lavishly while feeding her a high-test treat (a freeze-dried liver chunk is always good). Or keep her in a crate, letting her out for walks—outdoors.
Granted, these are not the easy solutions you hoped for. However, when training a dog—even a nine-year-old dog—to go outside, you must suffer before you have success. And the dog will be happier because, by nature, canines don't want to use their homes as bathrooms. The rat terrier will also love the increased outdoor activity. When she is, at last, properly trained, you will be so relieved. You will also have a stronger bond to your pet.

Dear Dog Lady,
I have had my Pomeranian Hercules for nearly eight years. Hercules weighs less than five pounds. I've had my boyfriend, now fiancé, for four years. He claims to love my dog. He says Herc is "our" dog.
What concerns me, though, is how rough he is with this tiny dog. He will pick him up and flip him around or pet him so hard that the dog growls, snarls, or yipes. My fiancé will also hold onto Herc while the dog is flailing, trying to get away and/or growling to signal his discomfort. Hercules often pees a little in the floor when my fiancé reaches for him and runs away from him. My fiancé says that Hercules only does this for my attention and that when I am not here Hercules will come to him. However, what I am seeing is a man who is far too rough and a dog who is terrified. You would think we would have figured this out by now but treatment of Hercules is still a regular argument. Any advice?

—Sara
Dear Sara,
Yes, big advice: You need to speak up for yourself and your dog. You must show your muscle on Hercules' behalf—and your own. If the manhandling of your little dog makes you uncomfortable, it is wrong. You have every right to demand your fiancé stop tossing the Pomeranian around and begin treating the dog with care.

You should think about how these issues with Hercules reflect deeper divides in the relationship. If a discussion with your fiancé about treatment of the dog devolves into blame and defensiveness, you should broaden the conversation into the future for the two of you. It takes a big man to show kindness to a little dog

Write: askdoglady@gmail.com.