It is almost a month since Governor Charlie Baker ordered the closure of non-essential businesses and urged residents to remain in their homes except for essential shopping, health care and exercise taken with social distancing. The shuttering of businesses, schools, houses of worship, most retail, fitness clubs and more has thrown Bostonians for a loop: thousands lost jobs, and many who are working from home face the unaccustomed reality of having partners and children in their home work-space while they try to coordinate jobs, household responsibilities, exercise and perhaps some privacy. The South End News asked neighbors how they are adapting all the activities of their lives under one roof and how it is affecting their relationships. A licensed marriage and family therapist also weighed in with her observations on what her couples and families are experiencing.
Software engineer Andrew Brand is a familiar figure around the South End for his involvement with Worcester Square Area Neighborhood Association (WSANA), his advocacy for services for the poor, homeless, mentally ill and substance abuse through the South End Forum Working Group on Addiction, Recovery and Homelessness and his marathon bicycle rides, often for charity. Both Brand and his girlfriend, who share a home on Mass. Ave., have risk factors for complications of COVID-19 and both combine at home and office work. When the stay-at-home directive came, Brand felt well-equipped for work, but the order put a cramp in his passion for biking. He has a Peloton bicycle for exercise, but it is harder to replace the human connection. "Like others, I wish I could go outside more often and with no restrictions, especially now that spring has sprung. It would be nice to see and touch others and to eat out when I wanted to. On the positive side, I don't worry about the weather, because I am rarely outside." Brand had initial concerns also about lack of essential household supplies, but has adjusted to doing without things that are temporarily unavailable. "I was concerned about shortages of many necessities, but things got better after the first week or so. If there store it out of something, it doesn't seem as important anymore," he wrote. He is, however, concerned for those with a great deal to lose: both those who deal with mental illness, addiction, and housing and food instability, and the local entrepreneurs who could face financial ruin if their businesses do not survive the current economic shutdown. Brand wrote, "I am concerned about the South End businesses. The owners work very hard, and even if they survive, this will be a big blow to their finances. If they don't survive, they and the neighbors will suffer immensely." He worries for the homeless and others who congregate at Mass and Cass. "Boston has allowed the Mass/Cass IV users to not socially distance. They still huddle in large groups. It is unclear at the moment what effect this will have on the IV [drug] users' health and on the neighborhood."
Rekha Purwaha, PR Director for Vibram, made her home with her husband, 9 year old daughter and a cat at the Thayer Street arts complex. Purwaha works both in and outside her home, while her husband works in an office and their daughter is a Boston Public Schools student. According to Purwaha, the family was ready for life, work and learning for when the COVID-19 stay-at-home order was issued in late March. "We were pretty prepared in terms of office equipment and equipment our daughter needed for schooling as she already has a lot of books, painting supplies, etc.," she said via e-mail. "We have a variety of home workout gear and bicycles, so we've been working out at home and going on short bike rides," she added. Purwaha has found up-sides to being house bound. "I try to look at everything in a positive light, but this has certainly been challenging. It's been nice honing my cooking skills, as my husband usually cooks, and not to have such a hectic schedule as we usually do. We are still busy with work and school but there's not the added stress of rushing to various extra-curricular classes, although we do really miss that now, in all honesty," she observed. Purwaha feels fortunate that her family has no elevated risk factors for COVID-19 complications in her family, and she and her husband are not considered essential workers. Last week, the family had to adjust suddenly and drastically when their home at the 450-460 Thayer Street arts complex was badly damaged after the Harrison Avenue water main break and they had to evacuate immediately. Friends invited the family to share their apartment while they look for their own place, as they cannot return to their water-damaged home for four to six weeks. Having immigrated from England, Purwaha and her husband do not have family support nearby but have a network of friends who fill that role. Losing the opportunity to connect in person is one of the most significant discomforts for Purwaha. " It's been really difficult not being able to see our friends — we don't have any family in the US and our friends are like our family. So that's been the toughest part. But we agree with the stay-at-home order. My brother-in-law is a doctor on the front lines at a hospital in England so we're hearing first-hand how this is all playing out. We all have to do our part as best we can." She continued, "It's been extra stressful this week due to the flood on Harrison Ave as our building has been evacuated for at least the next month. We are so incredibly thankful for our friends who have very graciously let us move into their apartment for the time being. It's an added pressure of course, but at times like this you really do see the community rally together and it's incredible. I know we'll all get through this and better days are ahead!"
AnaLinda Marcus, LMFT's clientele cuts across a wide socio-economic swath through her day work at a program that serves low-income, homeless and immigrant families and her private practice in the South End, seeing couples who have insurance and can afford to pay. Marcus commented on her experiences with both demographics. "First of all, I think people who don't have partners are having a lot more trouble than couples that are relatively happy. I think couples are grateful to have each other even if they're getting on each other's nerves," she observed. "I feel like the single people are going to be at high risk for depression and anxiety, doubting themselves for not having a partner to go through these kinds of traumatic events with." Marcus does believe that certain people's personalities are more suited to dealing with the stay-at-home situation than others. She said, "The clients who tend to be more introverted have less trouble with this because they can still selectively Zoom or Skype with loved ones. They don't have to engage broadly socially. Other clients who really thrive on group outings and a social scene have more trouble with it. The first couple weeks seem like an interesting challenge to people though of course almost everybody was afraid of what was to come, and now social distancing is looking a little more fearsome as it might be prolonged."
The poor families Marcus sees struggle on many levels normally and are seeing their challenges heightened with the stay-at-home order and economic and social shutdown. "I think it's really relative to whether there's children in the home. There are many stressors. I have a couple families with kids who struggle with autism trying to live with other people in a 2-bedroom apartment. It's very difficult; Mom has to bundle everybody into the car to shop for groceries or to go get school lunch pickups. There is no exercising especially with the city shutting the parks. The kids are having a really rough time and going stir-crazy and the parents are exhausted," she said. Among her couples in private therapy, she hears tension among partners with differing wants and ideas on how much time to spend together and how much to devote to individual work and other pursuits. Marcus said, "These kinds of differences are hot-housed in the current situation. When couples have stressors on these questions before, the stressors are exacerbated."
Marcus reports that some clients using the at-home time, which includes time saved from commuting, to pursue activities they may have been putting off. "A lot of people are planning all kinds of projects and some are actually getting some done. I have clients and friends who are referring to how much appreciation they bring to the little things in their daily life that are not possible today; what a perspective it brings about. I myself feel that way strongly even though I've been working steadily through this time," Marcus said.
Marcus is concerned that people who are suffering anxiety, depression and loneliness during the shutdown, including those with pre-existing mental and emotional problems, may not know how to access support under the current restrictions. She noted, "I'm sure we're going to see a lot more help mental health needs and people are not used to accessing them virtually. I feel like there should be a public health campaign that advertises how telehealth works so people who've needed therapy for the first time or are unfamiliar with it can get support."
Brand's response to the South End News concluded with words of wisdom for surviving the COVID-19 restrictions with peace of mind intact. "I try not to stress over things I can't control. I don't ignore these things, but I don't stress either."